What is Up With Those Millennials?

Ah, yes. The click bait. A marketing construct of the GenX’ers: pornographic gossip without the payoff.

But, since you are here…

My Motivation: Agism

I have become infuriated seeing one segment of United States citizenry be the target of a multiple-party attack. This pressure has been escalating over the last couple of years, and I wanted to make a number of assertions and lay out some warnings. The warning comes at the end if you can make it that far. I know how your attention span is now days.

A Generational Breakdown

First I would like to place the generational groups into segments and then apply some analysis. Then I would like to graph some of these attack vectors.

America’s Living Generations

I have taken a few of the date ranges proposed by various sources and attempted to line them up close to the consensus. I have also tried to list a couple of major events to provide context to the date ranges. These events are not attributed to the group.


  • Name: GI Generation
  • Birth Range: 1901-1924
  • Significant Events: The Great War, Flight, Women’s Sufferage

  • Name: Silent or Greatest Generation

  • Birth Range: 1925-1945

  • Significant: Events: Great Depression, WWII, Television, New Deal

  • Name: Baby Boomers

  • Birth Range: 1946-1964

  • Significant Events: Civil Rights, Korean War, Space Race, Missile Crisis, The Pill

  • Name: Generation X

  • Birth Range: 1965-1979

  • Significant Events: Vietnam Conflict, Moon Landing, Sexual Revolution

  • Name: Millennials

  • Birth Range: 1980-2000

  • Significant Events: Cold War, Desert Wars, Latin American Wars, Birth of the Internet

  • Name: Centennials

  • Birth Range: 2000+

  • Significant Event: Endless War, Great Recession, Information Age

So, Who Is The Best?

Because I have been questioned on why millennials are “the worst”, I would like to know who is the best. Obviously, the “greatest” generation is the one I hear elevated most.

Let me assert that the cause and effect of historical events revolve around money and power. The leverage behind financial transactions is not the capital but the debt. Therefore the debt behind the events of each of the generations is critical to examining them.

Buy War Bonds - Cpt. America

Who sponsored the great wars? If the “greatest” generation sponsored themselves out of the depression, how did they do that? America was in a depression, so they war’ed themselves out. Admirably, the wealthy and the ordinary contributed a lot. A large percentage of the debt was owned by the citizens themselves.

I will not go into the unnecessary use of nuclear weapons, or that Americans think we were the ones who defeated the Germans, or how unnecessary it was to wage war against socialism/communism/collectivism. How about we illuminate the fact that the first thing this generation did when they returned was to implement the biggest socialist programs the United States will probably ever have. Hypocrite lately?

As stated previously, debt powers this country, so let’s talk about the debt of the “greatest” folks. Certainly, they know how to manage debt, because they owned the debt to join WW2. Later however as they were cashing in on the returns from an investment in the war they also assumed debt on a guaranteed lifestyle leveraged against the treasury. Actually, it was guaranteed against future generations.

Go Unfund Me

That revenue levied against our wages was immediately borrowed against. The money was never there. Hence, the “unfunded” part of the debt you didn’t know about. The government promised that it would get paid back later (as long as there are enough people and revenue to cover it). The buck has stopped.

Depending on what calculations you use, the revenue on that trust fund is underwater a little or a lot. If calculated out to when the Centennials will benefit from it then we are carrying around $25T in debt. That is trillion with a T. So the scheme of the “greatest” was set to last just long enough for Generation X to not really get much out of it. Clincher is: they knew it. Don’t mind the many moments among old folks laughing about how long kids would have to live to get anything out of social security.

Corn Oil

Generation X grew up being driven to clockwork-regular vacations in giant cars with crushed velvet interiors and motors that made Arabs orgasm. These kids were corn-fed; to be trite. But they were more of an accessory to these things. Bothering their parents who were trying to relax on the vacation.

Get good grades so you can go to a good college, so you can get a good degree, so you can get a good job, so you can get a good wife, so you can get a house, so you can afford kids, so you can pay for their education, so they will leave home and you can retire to spend all your savings.

I present to you the equation called American Dream as taught by our forebearers in the second chapter of the textbook titled: Purpose of Life.

Marketing For The Masses

Canned Spam or Hamburger Helper. Walmart or Target. Post or Kellogs. Nike or Adidas. McDonald’s or Burger King, ABC or NBC, Ford or Chevy, Republican or Democrat, mom’s weekend or dad’s weekend, paper or plastic, ribbed or smooth, bologna or hotdogs, Pepsi or Coke, capitalist or communist, mayo or Miracle Whip. Err, strike the penultimate option. Communism’s bad. You aren’t allowed to pick that one.

The Boomers were the most susceptible audience in history. They were all branded to the level of religious zealotry, and then stamped their kids. Watch old commercials. The spectral echo of them are things that make the alphabet soup litany of civil-rights group crawl out of their nocturnal graves. Now y’all some racist bastards, ain’tcha?!

Latchkey Kids

These kids were detached. They were pushed to run on their own. Funding and attention shifted away from those things that propped up the youth and back towards the elderly. Social Security and Medicare got a big bump during this time. It was already starting to show its stretch market. Besides, the previous generation knew how to vote and were organized. Remember the debt we talked about already?

Moulin Rouge

The consolation was the X’ers were the consummate sensualists. They drug [sic] us into the world of sexual liberation. They embraced Nietzsche with the full-frontal bro-hug, but not too close unless we want AIDs. That’s god’s punishment for boys hugging too tightly. Or sexing up monkeys. One or the other. Thank goodness for Sex Education clearing that up. They were having a rough time figuring out how the Oscar Meyer fit into the Wunder Buns. And if they would use Heinz, Hellman’s, or Frenches yellow sauce.

Sometime during the early 80’s, the television was quietly approved for semi-autonomous child supervision by various governmental companies such as the MTV, HBO or PDA. Games weren’t approved, though. Theoretically, because anything other than near comatose participation in visual entertainment was taboo.

This Is Your Brains On TV

Drugs are bad m’kay? DARE you to take some. Unless they are pharmaceutical. Because that is as natural as a skillet-fried sunny side up cranial self-buggery omelette. Hold the cheese. Unless it’s Velveeta. It melts smoother. Like heroine for your colon. Keeps the poo flow flowin.

Honestly though, Generation-X really brought the idea of communicating in memes of movie and TV quotations. That was a great communication medium. Sure beats Emojis. Frying our minds with TV had a silver lining.

It Is Good To Have Options

All those choices and options weren’t… It was consolidation. Freedom of thought was replaced with “options”. That is the woman’s mind. The desire for safe options. The illusion of risk. Now that the domestic spending radically shifted the marketing can be cleaned up and we can now have aisles of different breakfast cereals to choose from. Although, they are actually all the same ingredients differing in degree and packaging from about two major corporations.

Spend Don’t Mend - Brave New World Jingle

X’ers were the last age of men. They went the way of the muscle car mustache. This was when women took over the country. Millennials are an entire generation raised by women.

Show Me The Money! - Tom Cruise Missile

I would assert that all marketing exists in a void that is left by vice. For various reasons. People want to be sold something, because they like being flattered, because they are looking to one-up the Joneses, because they are too stupid or lazy to do the research on their own, because they are bored, because they are programmed to.

Say Hallo To My Leetle Friend - Scarf Face

Well, I suppose the X’ers wanted to do right by their kids. So they made their kids their buddies; and then abdicated what was left of any established parental hierarchy. They chose to let children develop their own emotional identity that was free from the burden of wisdom. The children’s identity or creativity were unlocked to roam free. The emotional equivalent of setting up a sandbox in the center of a London roundabout and dropping them off. It was Spartan. It was intense.

Famous Anus’ Chocolip Cookies

It is a giant intercontinental ballistic slumber party. All people are your best friends, and the State is the chaperone.

Please enjoy your safe spaces liberally. The State has finally freed us up to truly enjoy each other in any way we want, and punish people who we don’t want enjoying us in any way we don’t want. But if they do forcibly enjoy us then we can have them imprisoned where we collectively enjoy them being anally enjoyed by less-enjoyable fellows.

If it confusing don’t worry. It will take another generation to figure out how to manage the new social dynamics. It takes technology.


In occlusion, the two voting generations, under Reagan, cut the brakes on the train. Because, ABS is for bitches. It basically put nitrous into the hands of the wealthy.

Greed Is God - Paraphrased from Martin Gecko Sheen Winning

The public debt started its parabolic ascent in the 80’s. The GenX’ers learned how to vote. How to leverage the last bit of debt onto the next generation. Right here is where I suppose we are starting to see the cracks in the facade. This is the period where the future was mortgaged. The 80’s and 90’s is when these United States were sold.

The Cold War was always a shit story. While we were worried about socialism we were consuming ourselves to fiscal death. Like a glutton eating so much that he grows too big to fit out his front door.

Get A Good Job

Remember the American Dream equation. The X’ers still believed it. Rightfully so. They saw it working in the 80’s.

That was garbage too. Inflation is a taxation on savings. We inflated ourselves out of the situation the 70’s left us with. And it wrecked incomes ever since. Instead of trying to correct the problem the train sped forward. Women joined the workforce and families spent less time together. Negative social capital must be repaid with future social interest.

Even with the addition of women into the workforce, the household income didn’t keep pace with inflation. It has been pretty much flat since 1980. The purchasing power of us today is about 15 of what it was for people starting their careers in 1980 with a single income earner. Do your own math. Or better yet ask a Millennial to do it for you. At least they won’t be as bias.

Planet Changers

Gen X’ers did give us the most powerful communication tool in history. We have the Internet, and the planet has been changed. It is one of the greatest inventions. To elevate it more it was an organic collective innovation. That is something to be proud of. And it is almost entirely because of the X’ers foundation and entrepreneurial spirit.


The Best Educated Generation In History

So we have a socially independent, emotionally evolved, guilt-free, highly educated and bored sector of society. Their math skills are quite adequate to understand the sheer absurdity in trying to implement American Dream equation.

Millennials are well taken care of and know that they won’t be booted out like the X’ers were. They have begun to sunset the consumerism of the Boomers and the sensualism of the X’ers. They seem to be making rational choices. A silent reflexive revolution.

Instead of admitting fault and helping the upcoming generations the previous two are blaming them for not investing into this Ponzi scheme we call the economy, but they would never do it to their face, instead they go online and do it. Like they don’t have kids.

The 10%ers

At this point in US history I would like to assert we have 3 groups. Not the haves and have-nots. Instead: Those who own debt, those who own capital, and those who own nothing. If we combine those who own debt (1%ers), those who own capital (10%ers) and those who own nothing (the 89%ers) we get a much better diagram of the pyramid.

Entitled Brats

Let’s talk briefly about entitlement. Considering that one sector of the society demands that the others support their debt interest, pay for their drugs, keep putting money into their infrastructure, and demand us to keep calm and drive on while they drain down the last of their pensions and retirements; that sounds pretty freakin entitled. Maybe I don’t know what entitlement means.

Boomers on Top

Right now the Boomers control a disproportional amount of spending power. I don’t want to get into the math because it was mind numbing to deal with. Maybe they earned it I don’t know. Maybe I’m way off base.

X’ers want their day in the sun though. They want everyone else to buy into the system. Some of them took on student debt and want Millennials to. They mortgaged their future buying cars and homes. They went all in. Dammit if these snotty kids are going to ruin it.

Cleanex Diplomas

A diploma is trash. Mostly. It doesn’t mean much except to a diminishing few. The schools that are great are only for the gifted minds or kids who won the life lottery. Don’t fool yourself. Even doctors will be replaced by artificial intelligence and lower paid technicians. Technical or skill training is the only thing that matters now.

You got knocked the fug-out! - Friday

Why put in the effort? Wake the fuck up, homey. The Dream is literally over. Capitalism died in 2008. Communism was never a threat. We are in an interconnected world now. Robots will replace your jobs, not the Mexicans.

The EQ

For the last hundred years, we have been inculcated that IQ is the king metric for human capacity. I will assert that all history, all commerce, and all human events are a perception-based phenomenon. Every transaction is a human transaction. All power is human power. Power over and power through. Money is fiat. Communication is the protocol to make everything happen. The measure of aptitude inside that ecosystem is the Emotional Quotient.

The Millennials were set on free-range mode by their parents and developed a new sense of communication. Its purity is slowly being eroded by the Internet but this type of communication is global and rapidly evolving.

Get To The Time Machine Marty!

We now have a group of people with very little to lose and the ability to communicate in ways that we cannot understand, and not easily control. To affirm this point, many psychological professionals have refused to acknowledge that there is this type of intelligence and that it should be measured.

War Makes Babies

This prepends my first warning. Two smaller unorganized groups of people are picking on an intelligent network of mobilized collectives that are free of moral restrictions and generational biases.

Some idiots still believe that war is a good population reduction scheme. In fact, it causes population explosions. A society or species determine internally if they want to reduce themselves. Attack the younger generations and they will be hardened together. Citation: history.

Math is King

This is warning two. If the Millennials and Centennials are forced into a meaningless life of materialistic servitude, they will look for answers. Given a highly evolved communication tool and a mathematically superior population, it is only waiting for a leader and a catalyst before some group learns how to extract all the wealth from the earlier generations with extreme prejudice.

Centennial War

Sadly, Millennials have known little but war. Centennials know only war. An entire life of war. Born into fear and only fear. This is our gift to them. You only train them how to see risk. They are bubble wrapped from life.

We live in the safest time in history, yet parents are running around scared of everything. Scared of disease, scared of terrorists, scared of drugs, scared of progress, scared of animals, scared of scraped knees, scared of losing their gods, scared of other people’s opinions, scared of their own opinions, scared of their children’s opinions.

Those who are willing to do violence will always subjugate those who are not.

Out of that environment you can easily spot the warriors, because everyone else is mush. Your children will pity you for being weak and resent you for making them weak.

Pay it Forward - A Movie (2000)

So when you talk about generational contributions, how about you start paying it forward a little. If you care about the future in the least, stop lying to yourself. You didn’t do anything on your own.

A Word

Centennials, stop fretting over grades. They don’t matter so much. Start studying what really matters. Read books older than your parents. Learn how the Internet works. Be involved in politics at a local level. Start a group. Learn how to effectively use a firearm in the physical world. Become dangerous to the system. Dismiss fear.

A Remediation

Try this. Seriously.

How about you shut your mouth and watch the youth. Give them the opportunities you took. Live simply. Stop weaving in the ideas of greed, fear, envy, and scarcity into their lives. Don’t make them fight your stupid fucking wars for you. Teach your children about life. Address the debt and admit your fault in it. Show them what taking responsibility looks like. Don’t make them pay for your retirement. Learn. Learn to communicate. Learn unceasing.

Learn to love and love hard.